October? Autumn has begun, tans are fading, and the team is back in the groove.  An ideal time to take a step back and evaluate your company! English-language texts are crucial to any international business. White papers, job proposals, websites or LinkedIn profiles… And yet, many fall short, being littered with errors or read like awkward computer translations.  Common assumptions that prevent companies from optimizing their potential include:
1.      “We’ll do it eventually.” Procrastination is rampant. A common scenario:  after months, if not years, devoted to developing a new website, panic sets in at the last minute because this beautiful, high-tech masterpiece needs words. The hard reality: expect a professional to devote at least three weeks to write or rewrite a website text!  Writing is a creative process: powerful, fresh messages need to be crafted with a few, carefully selected words. The juxtaposition of words in headlines, buttons and calls-to-action should work visually and thematically and thus deserve individual attention.  Search terms (SEO) should read naturally and be used with purpose, not slapped in at random in a vain attempt to fool Google. All of this takes time and should not be squeezed in as an afterthought while the launch champagne chills.
2.      “Translation will rescue us.” Having paid a copywriter to write a text in your native language, surely an English translation will do? Think again. Translations take extensive work, often total revision, to create the strong, natural and persuasive text that you need to fulfil your marketing objectives. 
3.      “Should be good enough.” These companies update catch phrases, headers, buttons, and even LinkedIn profiles and blogs “on the go,” and often without bothering to verify spelling, grammar or the correct translation of terms. This carefree attitude results in errors that blatantly read “unprofessional” to anyone well-versed in English: including potential customers from France, China, Brazil, the Ukraine…or even the company next door. 
4.      “Our partners are native speakers” Surely our partners in the US, UK or Australia will copyedit our texts?  They might. Or they may give them a glance, send a few general comments or even shrug them off with “it looks fine.” If you rely upon colleagues for editing, ensure that the task is assigned to someone who takes it seriously and who writes well.  Indicate that you expect feedback and provide a specific, hard deadline. This type of task easily falls through the cracks because it lacks priority, leaving your valuable texts in a bottomless procrastination pit.
Does this sound familiar?! Unfortunately, there are no shortcuts when it comes to the words that represent your company. They are much too valuable to be treated in a haphazard, amateurish manner. So, take the time now to examine the texts that are your company’s international calling card.  
No time to do it yourself and curious how your company scores?  Contact me for a quick, free and no-obligation assessment.

Humor creates kick-ass marketing.  Search “humor marketing” and you will get any number of excellent articles on the subject.  Including, for instance, this article from inc.com, where the author supports using humor, pointing out that it makes a website or other business text both accessible and appealing. He also notes that instead of utilizing this powerful tool, many companies put together a cookie-cutter “professional” image, which is neither memorable nor impressive. 

Headless wonders?
Here in the Netherlands, fear of sticking out is an issue.  There is a traditional Dutch saying “heads that stick up above the grass line, get hacked off” (Wie zijn hoofd boven het maaiveld uitsteekt, die wordt zijn kop afgehakt). Many countries have similar types of saying, in Japan it is the nail that sticks out; in the UK, tall poppies…

Brilliant modern promotion
Before I looked up this "off with their heads" phrase, I was only familiar with its modern sister: “dare to stick out above the grass line.” My advice to any company starting out or renovating their website is to do just that:  touches of humor, quirky texts, personality. These all greatly enhance the final product.

Look at Coolblue and Bol.com: with imagination and humor they create ads that are shared, spread and enjoyed throughout the Netherlands. They are used as examples in lectures on marketing. Isn’t that the clearest proof of all?

Back in the dinosaur years of the early 1990s, when website building really boomed, life was different.   The words blog and vlog had not yet been coined, “disruptive” had no positive spin and clouds were…well, clouds.  Companies enthusiastically embraced websites as a new sales tool and tended stuff all of their existing promotional texts into their sites, compiling colossal multilingual monsters.  The bigger the company, the more unwieldy the site tended to be.  And often still is.  Big deal, one might think.  Think again. 

Can you afford not to invest in a new site?
When faced with a wall of words, many potential customers will bounce right out.  People don’t have the time or patience to read long pieces of text.  If they cannot, within a minute, find the product they seek with the key details in easy-to-digest bulleted lists: sayonara.  Your valuable prospect clicks right into the warm arms of your streamlined and customer-friendly competitor.

"At a glance" for the confused and frustrated
In a world where the question “what are we going to eat tonight?” has resulted in a billion-dollar industry of boxed “zero-thought necessary” ready-to-prepare meals, it is clear that people are overwhelmed by choices.   Thus, the more complicated your website is, the more likely your potential client will go into confusion/frustration-mode and give up.  Provide, then, easy ways to compare and contrast products based upon their own selections.  Well thought-out filters and comparison-at-a-click will result in fast sales.

Funny ≠ unprofessional
Humor is the most powerful, yet surprisingly underutilized, marketing tool around.  Companies seem to be afraid to show their informal side.  That is a BIG mistake.  Attend any seminar on marketing trends and every example they use is based on humor.  Which ads go viral in social media world-wide?  Those that make people laugh.  So dare to go beyond the stodgy professional image in your website texts.  Entertain people along the way… keeping them engaged in your website and extending their “plug-in” time! 

So if you are going to invest in something new anyway, go for a new and informal image and focus on the modern “less is better” client. 

 Voor wie het nog niet weet, vandaag, 6 november is het World Paper-Free Day (Wereld Papier-Vrije Dag). Hiermee wordt er aandacht gevraagd voor ons papiergebruik. Je vraagt je je misschien af: “Waarvoor is dat nodig? Wij recyclen toch al?”. Recyclen is prima, maar bedrijven kunnen zoveel meer doen om bomen (én geld) te besparen.
Enkele ideeën:

• Papiervrij vergaderen. Hierbij zit alles wat met de vergadering te maken heeft in de “Cloud”. In plaats van stapels papier maakt men gebruik van laptops en tablets… met alle moderne functies die erbij horen!  Zoek dus niet meer door stapels papier voor die ene notitie! En notulen schrijven (lezen, editen, aanpassen, uitprinten, distribueren…) is ook verledentijd!
  
  
• Medewerkers verzoeken om hun kopieër- en printgedrag onder de loep te nemen. Misschien is het volgende ook voor jou herkenbaar? Je vindt een artikel interessant, maar je hebt op dat moment geen tijd om het te lezen… de nijging om het uit te printen is dan vaak sterk aanwezig! Toch zijn die papieren versies beperkt bruikbaar, omdat de meeste digitale stukken belangrijke links bevatten. In plaats van te printen, plaats ze in een “Lees dit” folder op je computer of tablet en maak ook een wekelijks agendapunt: leestijd!    

 

• Papieren publicaties zijn ZO jaren 80! Hiermee wordt ontzettend veel papier en liters (vaak milieuschadelijke) kleurstoffen en inkt gebruikt. Bovendien als er maar één fout in zit of is het niet meer “up to date” dan moet het vaak opnieuw worden gedrukt. Vergeet niet - zeker bekend bij mensen die nu bezig met het beursseizoen - de gevaren van het zware tillen en alles wat daarbij hoort. Bijvoorbeeld de langdurige pijn en ellende van rugblessuren? En ook de kosten hiervan.
   
  Gebruik liever digitale brochures, bijvoorbeeld van LiesDesign!  U wilt uw klant toch ook niet laten sjouwen en veel liever met een flitsend, moderne en interactieve publicatie tevoorschijn komen? Ook toont uw bedrijf zo haar betrokkenheid voor het milieu.
  
  
• Kijk naar dagelijks gebruikte producten: goedkoop is vaak duurkoop. Als het printerpapier te voordelig is, kan het mogelijk problemen veroorzaken met je kopieerapparaat en dan heb je niets gespaard! Papieren doekjes in de keuken of toilet die te dun zijn vallen sneller uit elkaar. Hierdoor zal de gebruiker er meerdere tegelijk gebruiken, wat natuurlijk heel ongunstig is.

En als laatste:

• Kijk ook nog even naar het recyclen zelf!  Werkt de manier waarop je het aanbiedt efficiënt? Zijn de papierbakken gunstig neergezet? Is het duidelijk waar welk afval moet? Vaak is zo’n recyclingsysteem met enthousiasme ingezet, maar door de jaren heen is de nood ervan vervaagd. Maak er weer een aandachtspunt van en geef de verantwoordelijkheid hiervan duidelijk aan in iemands werkbeschrijving, bijvoorbeeld als een onderdeel van hun taak als “milieumanager.”

Hier klikken om te bewerken.

Anyone who carefully examines my LinkedIn profile will note that my background—being academic and focused upon Japanese art history--doesn't fit with my current activities. I am one of a large and growing group of self-made “do-over” professionals who found themselves cornered by the realities of the 2010s... Many of us have chosen to make a new start, upgrading ourselves to modern reality… 

Gift/curse, you never know…

When searching for the ideal venue for Lee.2, I had to make some choices. That my native language would play a role was clear.  It is always an advantage to be a native speaker of English, yet it can also be a nuisance. When you live in foreign countries many people quite naturally ask you to assist with English. When you are focused on something else, it can be distracting, yet you never know when such odd jobs can work in your favor. 

In my case, I eventually realized that I enjoy writing, revising and translating commercial texts. Coming up with slogans, titles, and optimizing the written messages of a company is challenging and rewarding. 

Too technical? Think again! 

Most websites, in my view, should be written for anyone to read. You never know who your viewers will be.  Has an intern or support staff member been assigned to “weed out” potential suppliers? If so, you can easily alienate them with excessive jargon and unexplained abbreviations. Besides...such a text quite quickly turns into a yawn fest. If you want to increase your bounce rate, that is the way to do it! With a little homework—my research background helps enormously—almost every specialty is within my reach. 

2015

Every New Year brings its opportunities. I look forward to 2015 with a feeling of exhilaration: many of my “test the waters” customers are coming back with bigger assignments, a sure sign of satisfaction!   Do I look back with regret, the loss of Lee.1? Not often! I’m too busy enjoying the challenges and delight of my new upgrade. 

With translation, as with most things in life, value for money is hard to find.  The lowest bidders are not necessarily the best choice: make sure that price isn't the only criteria you use for your valuable project. The written materials you distribute--books, mailings and pamphlets, but also websites--reflect your company. An inept translation will a) quadruple your in-house work or b) cost a substantial amount to have corrected. Yet, in my experience, most companies assign translation jobs without having done their homework. Spending a little time in the beginning can save you a massive headache and expensive reconstruction later.

Facts:
·         All texts need talented writers
·         NOT all bilingual people can write well!

Writing is something that people tend to take for granted. Think, however, how many people in your “circle” can write texts that grab and hold your attention?  Only a small percentage of “native speakers” can write well. So why do most companies assume that translators have that skill? The original text may read well, but that is easily lost in translation.

Ask a translator to:
·         provide a link for a site or article that represents their work.
·         provide references.
·         translate a small test piece. Include idioms that cannot be literally translated.

Examine these materials carefully or have a native speaker do so (I will assess such texts for a nominal fee). Do they read as fluent language? Consider also the speed with which your “test” is returned. If it takes too long, then question whether the candidate can meet critical deadlines.

Some last tips:
Before assigning the task you should also make sure that the price includes copy editing and that you have set a firm (but reasonable) deadline, perhaps with some financial penalty if the date is not met.

Proper editing is essential for any text, even written in one’s native language.  A freshly translated text rarely reads well: some word choices are not optimal, the sentence structure often still retains too much of the original language. It needs to sit some time and then the translator can read it with a clear head and focus on making it read naturally.

Most experienced business people can give at least one example of a “translation hell” experience. You can avoid that by looking carefully at your candidates.  Translation is serious business: it provides the international "voice" of your company and access to the world. Is that really where you should be counting pennies? 

If you read websites critically you might also notice a few recurring categories.  My favorites include:

1)    The store-bought-cake type

Full of fluff and bling, übersweet in their politically-correct dialogue, they lack true flavor and character. Websites that deal with art and design often fall into this category.

2)    The mystery-meat type

This type is so full of technical jargon and abbreviations that only a true techno nerd can follow it. Technology companies frequently have this type of website. It assumes the reader has knowledge of the company’s specialty and excludes anyone who does not, including valuable potential clients!  

3)    The six-foot-submarine-sandwich type

This type is full of words. The author is in love with his or her writing but doesn't take the time to (have someone) read it and trim the text down. A surprising number of professional writers have sites that fall into this category.

4)    The bland-porridge type

Here people take the trend toward simplicity and “bare bones” writing to an extreme and the text reads like a learn-to-read book. Yes, the site should be accessible but it shouldn't read like “Dick meets Jane!”

5)    The trendy-tapas type

Fast and easy, this is the young company with energy to burn. They have no time to draft a proper text (nor, often, pay attention to spelling, grammar, or correct language!). It gives you a snack, but not a meal.

Do recognize any of these (or a combination?!) qualities your own website? Consider a rewrite!  

“Big mistake” is a classic line from the film Pretty Woman, the scene where Julia Roberts stands gloating in a store with her arms full of bags from chic boutiques.  It resonates with every woman and probably most men. We've been there.  Not as hookers (well, most of us, anyway!), but as patrons with cash on the receiving end of snobby looks from store personnel because we dared to go shopping in our Sunday slobs. 

I suspect that the clothing issue played a role some years ago when I went into to a high-end gift shop in casual attire. The chopper that I had purchased there was broken and, busy with numerous projects, I had no time to “dress” for this minor errand.  Whatever the cause of her attitude, the shop woman reacted with drama—literally blaming me for the malfunction!  I persisted and she grudgingly agreed to have someone look at it. When I came to pick it up after a ridiculously long period, the part that they claimed had been replaced was DIRTY, so I had to wait even longer. Before this event I had intended to purchase a present (from four of us) for my in-law’s 50th anniversary at that shop. Naturally I changed my mind about this significant investment. 

Then a few weeks ago I made an appointment at a salon for a minor treatment.   Feeling ill that day, I called and canceled, leaving a message on her voice mail.  When I didn't hear back from her to confirm that she heard the message, I dragged myself out anyway and having trouble finding her salon, I called for directions.  She said that she had heard the message and left already—nice of her to let me know—and would call back to reschedule. She never did, presumably because of the modest amount involved.  What she didn't know was that the appointment was meant as a reconnaissance mission:  I was looking for an appropriate salon to purchase a gift certificate of considerable value.  Now, naturally, I will go elsewhere.  In any kind of competitive business, one really can’t afford to kiss a potential customer goodbye.  

As I mentioned in my blog of April 21st, never, ever, ever underestimate your customers and their ability to slay you with their long-range social-media missiles. The corollary of this is: never underestimate their intentions! Big sales can sometimes be dressed in shabby clothing.  The scene from Pretty Woman should be a key part of every customer-service training program!!

In the last blog I wrote about how tourists often have an interest in European history of the World Wars (witness the number of documentaries made about the subject). This is one of many examples of how tourist-information texts should not necessarily just be translated, because the visitor from England, Canada or the US likely has different interests than most Dutch people. 

 In this blog I give an example text, here for the fictive place Hoeheetiedam (What’sitcalled-embankment).

• Hoeheetiedam played host to a huge numbers of Belgian refugees during World War I.  Tent camps were set up in the Onzeburgemeester Park—currently a pleasant place to picnic in the eastern part of the city—and there were enormous logistical challenges involved in the care, feeding and education of hundreds of destitute indefinite-stay guests.  

• During World War II, with the assistance of French troops, the area around Hoeheetiedam was valiantly defended against the Germans, and it remained free for months even after the Netherlands had surrendered.  During the occupation, several citizens, including Abel Verzet, worked underground to assist the Allies. Captured and executed in 1943, a statue dedicated to Abel’s memory is seen in the historical city square (Grote Markt).  This is an ideal place for shopping or to have a cocktail on the terrace of one of the many restaurants and cafes. 

• Hoeheetiedam was located on the fly route for the British Royal Air Force and thus the Germans had snipers stationed at strategic places outside the city. There is a monument next to the Vaargoed River dedicated to the many members of the air corps who lost their lives in the area. The monument is on the route of our cycling map, for further information, see….

• Finally liberated in the spring of 1945, months later than most of the Netherlands, the citizens of Hoeheetiedam were naturally overjoyed to meet the victorious Canadian troops although the feelings must have been bittersweet:  allied poor judgment had largely caused this delay.  There is a memorial commemorating the liberation at the train station, which is located close to the tourist information office (VVV). 

• Only eight years after liberation Hoeheetiedam was inundated in the North Sea flood of 1953, suffering extensive damage and killing hundreds of citizens. A multilingual film and exhibition concerning this disaster is in the Watersnood Museum located in nearby Oostdorp. 
  

With a few appropriate illustrations and links for further information, this text brings a few key historical episodes to life without going into the detail that might cause someone to “bounce“ directly back out of the site.  It also connects it to activities for the modern tourist in the same area.  This will hopefully pique a visitor’s curiosity and encourage them that there is a great deal to see and do in Hoeheetiedam so that they plan a more extensive trip than they might otherwise, and thus fulfills the primary goal of any city marketer!